There is no doubt this is a complicated issue. What part of life isn't.  There are expectations of understanding on both sides that can be so challenging.  I am not talking about '20 something just getting out of college trying to find their life path, I am talking about kids who have a life path and want to move back in for a moment.  Let me explain...
This all becomes an issue because 5 years later I am told that one of my children is "still" hurt that I did not want her to renovate my small basement and move in with her 3 kids while her husband was away for work for a year.  When the subject was broached 5 years ago, I said no. It will cost too much, and even then would not be suitable in my opinion for people to live in, she heard "You don't want me here." Hmm, so maybe a bit of both is true. At that time I suggested moving to the same town and yes of course they could be at my house, I would be in theirs but my house was (and is) too small at only 1000 sg ft to accommodate that volume of  people for a long term living space.  This was not a life emergency, this was a life choice. Very different. If you will be homeless, if you need to re-group, yes even though it's cramped we will find a way.  The reality is, I don't think a moments thought went in to what the effect on my life would be. There would be no place to watch the TV programs that I like, as even when they visit now, I don't do that because I know it doesn't fit their life style. My ideas and her's don't always match up. I don't think the volume of video games and voices needs to keep escalating as each child tries to out noise the other in the same room as the only TV.  It's just complicated. There is only one space to sit and relax in my house.  The upstairs is their sleeping accommodations.  I live a very different life than they do. I want to have friends over, go out and maybe if I ever found the right person date some one. How do I do that with adult children living in my home with their children? I hear her talk about her mother in law and her "dating" habits with disapproval.  It's not Ozzie and Harriett at my house, it's just Harriett and I still wanna find my Ozzie.  It's like I am supposed to say sure come in, turn my life upside down, and then leave and go back to yours. I just don't think that is appropriate.  Oh and by the way, I am supposed to stay out of their personal business? Umm really? If you live in this small space how am I supposed to do that? Don't put your business in my face, and I will stay out of it.  Same goes for them, I don't want my kids in my personal business, but I don't put it in their face. 

This same child also told me how upset she was that I didn't come to Japan immediately when my first grandchild was born, almost 10 years ago.  Hmm, I had a 14 year old daughter living at home at the time. I was not rolling in money, and a job where I could not take off more than 5 days...so exactly how was I supposed to pull that off?  Fly half way around the world to spend maybe 3 days? Sigh...when I finally was able to go 10 months later, apparently I only went to see the Cherry Blossoms...seriously? What the heck...

My door is always open for visits from all my kids: always has been, always will be.  And my home is open in life emergencies, yes that has happened too.  But there is an expectation of time for normalcy to live my life, and honestly, I have that right.  Judge not, lest ye be judged child. One day you will be the parent of adult children.

My suggestion to any parent or child...find the balance...And for goodness sake respect a parents right to live their life.  Before you get all out of whack because they don't see things the way you do, try looking through their eyes. Looking at your parents life and UNDERSTANDING what they do every day. I work 9-11 hours a day Mon - Friday (sometimes on the weekend ,too) I want to relax when I get home. I want space to be me.   I am only 54, I have a lot of living left to do, and it will be on my terms. 

WEBSITES AND LINKS
Snoopy's Bar & Grill   https://snoopysbar.com/
Seagrape Tours     https://seagrapetours.com/
Simpson Bay Resort   http://simpsonbayresortmarina.com/
Billy Bones Boat Charters  http://boatchartersxm.com/
Sale & Pepe  https://www.facebook.com/SALE-PEPE-SXM-536833439816354/
Isola   http://isolasxm.com/
Avantika http://www.avantikasxm.com/
Friar's Bay Beach Club https://www.facebook.com/pages/Friars-Bay-Beach-Café-Ici-Tes-
Zee Best http://www.zeebestrestaurant.com/
Red Piano https://www.theredpianosxm.com/
Emilio's ​https://emilios-sxm.com/

I grew up a Jersey shore girl. My family driving hundreds of miles every summer to go to Southern New Jersey Beaches and enjoy all the fun that was there to be had. It was my happy place. it was comfortable...it was the shore. Well, this Jersey Shore Girl may have been converted. Last weekend some friends and I went to Ocean City, MD. I had never been there, but had heard how nice it was.  Well, even in winter, with fog so thick you couldn't see the Ocean, it was fabulous!  Even in the off season there were great places to go eat. The first night we had dinner at  Captain's Table. The food was incredible. There was a lovely atmosphere, with a live piano player, hopefully the other guests didn't mind that my friends and I sang along!

​In the morning we decided it was a nice enough day for a stroll on the Boardwalk.  Although it was still a bit foggy the temperature was comfortable. We stopped off and had a nice breakfast at Ocean View Grill. Had a great time with the hysterical waitress Becky!  I do love visiting places in the off season, when folks have time to take a breath and laugh. 







​After our stroll on the boards we decided to spend some time at the pool. It wasn't my beloved St. Maarten, but there were a few palm trees so I could pretend, sort of. 




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 That night it was dinner at Coins Pub & Restaurant. Again some wonderful food, in a friendly family atmosphere.  Breakfast on Sunday, was OUT OF THS WORLD. We went to a place called Barn 34.  Very friendly staff, and we got there at just the right time.  It started with the drink special of the day, Shrimp and Bacon Bloody Mary.  I didn't even drink one, and I was impressed. I am more of an Irish Coffee girl. That was no slouch either, just forgot to take a picture. I had "The Hangover" even though I didn't have one. A skillet with Eggs, Sausage, Potatoes and a Croissant.   One of my friends had Crab Eggs Benedict and was over the top happy with it. They also had a special Figs wrapped in bacon with syrup that we just had to try, as well as a side order of Fried Green Tomatoes. I hope to go back there again!!! Wow!!!  www.barn34oc.com/

And perhaps the piece de resistance for me was a visit to Assateague Island State Park. It is something I have wanted to do for many, many years. I hope I get the opportunity to go there again. We had just pulled in the park and there they were, the wild horses. I was really happy that all I had heard was true. They were real, and right there.   

So it seems this Jersey Girl, is heading south, just a little. 

Well, this past week I was supposed to be in my favorite place in the world, St. Maarten. Unfortunately flights are hard to find and places to stay, even harder...so my friend and I had to switch gears and go some place else.  I couldn't bring myself to go anywhere near the Caribbean so off to Arizona we went!  I had never been to Sedona or the Grand Canyon, so that is where I placed my hope in the silver lining.  What a great week it was...no not ​My Island​...but a great week nonetheless. As it turned out, I got to see some family that I had no idea would be in AZ pretty cool, A cousin from Michigan, and a second cousin from Texas! 

​The trip started off with a bang, or maybe I should say a delay!  Due to some rough weather patterns our flight left about 90 minutes late. We used the time to grab lunch and be sure our phones were charged. Once we made our way to the Orange Tree Golf Resort we opted to stay in and have dinner there, a Prime Rib Special that hit the spot and made the decisions easy.  The irony of staying in this Resort, neither my friend nor I golf...but it was indeed lovely to look at. 

Sunday morning we woke up EARLY! Of course our brains were in a time zone 3 hours a head of where we were, so we really just woke up on time. Since it was 6am we decided to go out to breakfast before searching out a location to watch the E A G L E S game.  We found a nice breakfast spot called Eggstasy. Their menu was unique with many amazing options. We split a Spinach Feta Omelet and Lemon Ricotta Pancakes. Oh my!!! The omelet was great, but the pancakes...SURPERB! I could have those every day I think.  Next stop was the local grocery store. It was just a brief stop to find a few days of breakfast and a couple snacks. It's vacation...no cooking allowed!  After hanging in the resort bar for a while to watch most of the Eagles game, yes it was really odd to watch at 10am it seemed time to catch a few rays by the pool before heading to dinner with family.

​This morning we had breakfast at the resort, then went to Kierland Commons  to do a bit of shopping. It was a bit cloudy so we decided to take a drive to Jerome. Jerome is an eclectic little town sitting up in the Black Hills of AZ. We walked around town a bit before deciding on lunch at The Bordello of Jerome. The burgers were amazing! I had the special of the day: Barbeque Beef Burger with Sweet Potato Fries.    I wouldn't use quaint to describe this town. It had an air of old time cowboys and hints of being haunted. Clearly they have become a popular stop for people driving through central AZ.

​We returned to Scottsdale after lunch and caught a few hours of late afternoon sun before heading over to Old Town to Grimaldi's Pizza. I think I had the best white pizza I have ever had. It was simple, just cheese, garlic and the oil that is used instead of red sauce.  The crust was nice and thin and crisp.  

It was up and out early on Tuesday! Clouds were still hanging around as we headed off to the red rocks of Sedona.  Being that it was not sunny and bright I think I missed  the majesty at it's best. Even so it was still a beautiful sight to behold. Since our time was limited we took a Red Jeep Tour and hit the highlights with a brief over view. 

​As luck would have it, my cousin and his wife were also in Sedona so we grabbed lunch together At the Creekside American Bistro.  I enjoyed their beet salad. Trying to stay healthy and traveling are indeed a new life goal.

After lunch it was time to head out for the Grand Canyon. I won't even lie...it's a good thing the friend  I travel with is a road warrior. If I was driving the hairpin turns on 89A  we still might be there!  But she did a fantastic job and navigated those twists and turns with skill and a steady hand.  As we drove across Highway 40, getting near Highway 64, I noticed the smoke before the caution signs and thought oh boy this could be a problem. As it turns out, yes, I'm home and I have done some research, this was actually a planned event to keep the future risk down. I knew things like this were done, just didn't think when I first saw the huge plumb of smoke that it was "under control". The drive from Sedona, after 89A really wasn't bad, fyi for anyone thinking about doing the trip. We arrived in Tusayan, just outside the South Rim entrance to Grand Canyon National Park checked in to the hotel and hoped back in the car  

We made it into the Park and boarded a bus just in time to get to Yaki Point for Sunset. I'm told now...I should have gone on a bus heading the other way. All I can say is where I was, wasn't crowed and it was the most beautiful thing I have seen in a very long time. As the sun set the rocks would change colors, so the images would be different. Truly with out a doubt one of the wonders of the world. Words just don't cut it, if you get the chance see it. 

​By the way, at night, as soon as that sun goes down, it was COLD!!!! 

​We headed for Plaza Bonita for a nice Mexican meal.  The atmosphere was fun, and the décor was colorful and enjoyable. 

 In the morning, it was back to the Grand Canyon after a quick meal at the hotel buffet. Because it seemed to be the less populated and developed area we drove the 22 miles up to the Desert View Watchtower. Along the way we saw a herd of Elk, about 5 or 6 of them, just off the road grazing for food. We weren't fast enough to get a picture of them, but WOW are they huge! The views, again words just can't describe the amazing sights. I did see the Colorado River down there. I am in awe, and would like to return again some day. 

​I know that my friend I was traveling with is more of a Beach and Pool person, so I balanced my desire to stay and see every nook and cranny with that reality. About 11 we hopped in the car to head back to Scottsdale. We decided on a whim to stop for lunch once we got back to highway 17. That was amusing, just as we made that decision we had passed Flagstaff...no going backwards so I started searching for places "near me".  Munds Park popped up as an option, so we took the exit. Well, there's not a lot going on in Munds Park this time of year. The private golf course...they didn't even want you on their property nonetheless to feed you lunch, so we opted for the local whole in the wall Pinewood Bar & Grill. A nice quick grilled cheese sandwich, and we were back at the resort in time for a couple hours by the pool! After that we decide to treat ourselves for dinner. The day of extremes, from frost on the windshield to sun at the pool; Grilled Cheese and Hotel Buffets to Fine Dining at Rusconi's Kitchen The menu was nice, it wasn't easy to decide. I went with the Apple Cider Glazed Pork Osso Bucca. I had never ordered that before. It was incredible!  Now that I know, I would not hesitate to order that type of entrée again. We splurged on dessert Dark Chocolate Bread Pudding with Salt Carmel Sauce. Mmmm...wish I had a bite of that right about now. 

​Today was a pool day. I have a funny way of laying in the sun, it involves a lot of shade!  But I enjoy the down time and read a book. That's always enjoyable as I rarely do things like that at home. That evening we decided to go back to Oldtown after all it was the "day of the Dead". The Oldtown Adobe Mission had a nice display explaining "Día de los Muertos". I never understood what it was about until this. What a great way to honor those who have passed on every year. We walked around, enjoyed the dancers and storytellers than made our way to Bandera for dinner. Again, it is time to  pick wisely we shared an Appetizer Grilled Brussel Sprouts and each had a  Macho Salad. The food was really good. You could smell the rotisserie chicken all around the area as it cooked. 

​It was indeed time to RELAX!!!  Thanks to my membership at Hand & Stone we had lovely massages at a great price, even while on vacation. Before the massages we went to a cute little place called The OINK Café for breakfast. The food was good, the atmosphere could be a bit better, but it was okay. What I found the most amusing was that they listed a "Flight of Bacon" on the menu. Basically a sampler of their 8 kinds of Bacon: Apple Cider, Applewood, Chef’s Choice, Hickory, Honey, Jalapeño, Pepper, Sugar Cured. I didn't order it, but I thought it was funny.  I had the Paradise Valley Omelet: Spinach, mushrooms, bacon, and cheddar cheese& Chai Tea Latte.  Then it was off to the massages, and an afternoon at the pool before my daughter and her husband came up to visit for the evening. We ended up at Grimaldi's again. Mmmm yes, really good Pizza!
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​It was time to go home!  Our last morning we went back to Eggstasy on the way to airport.  We just had to have the Lemon Ricotta Pancakes again. We also shared an Apple Brie Omelette with Chicken Sausage.  Even though this was not the way our week had originally been planned, in the sun and sand of St. Maarten, it was a fun adventure with lots of beautiful sights and some great food. Yes, I did indeed join a gym when I got home!!!

I had no idea as I wrote my last post just what horrors were about to happen in the Caribbean. I am mindful as I type this that the hurricane season is not over, not even close. Irma and then Marie spinning and swirling, Irma so strong that it drained the ocean of it's waters two different times.  Irma was a direct hit on the Island of St. Maarten. Many lost everything, many lost a lot, and most sorrowful of all some lost their lives. I am deeply saddened by it all. 

​ The waters are not as blue...yet...they will be
​ The beaches are not as clean...yet...they will be
​ The buildings are not there...yet...they will be
 The tourists are not welcome...yet...they will be
 The water is not back on everywhere...yet...it will be
 The roads are not all cleared...yet...they will be
​ The electric is not back on everywhere...yet...it will be
 The airport isn't open...yet...it will be
​The Palm fronds are not on the trees...yet...they will be
The cruise ships have not returned...yet...they will be
The restaurants are not up and running...yet...they will be
The curfew is not lifted...yet...but it will be

​The people of St. Maarten are strong and resilient.  Already, just 21 days later they have begun rebuilding and getting life back to "normal".  Restaurants  have opened with limited menus. If nothing else but to be there to have fresh food for people. Prices are discounted. People have places to gather, to share, to support one another.  It will be a very long time before things get back to normal. With their economy being 100% dependent on tourism, it is imperative that they get back on their feet as quickly as possible. The Dutch motherland has come to their aid at a rapid pace.  My heart is a bit heavy knowing how much they are struggling.  I was relieved to hear from all of my friends that live on the island. They were born there, they will die there. They are native St. Maarteners.  I respect them so much. They band together and take care of those who need help. That's not always the same as those who want help. I understand that statement very well, I'm sure you do too! As soon as the time is right, as soon as it is deemed appropriate...I will be back my dear Sint Maarten. #SXMSTRONG
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The recent eclipse reminded me of the wonders of nature. I was like everyone else standing out side in mid-afternoon amazed at how dark it was. One of my co-workers had the cool NASA approved glasses so we actually got to look at the event happening, truly amazing! 

But even if you could not see it, you could feel it, you could hear it. Something unusual was about to happen in nature and the balance of the world was different. It is almost an eerie stillness. The animals were quiet, the atmosphere felt different you just knew, this isn't a regular afternoon.

The same holds true for tornadoes. Having been raised in southwestern Ohio, it was normal to have the little "watch" symbol in the bottom corner of the TV every afternoon. It was so expected, you really didn't see it anymore. But if you went outside, you could feel that eerie stillness in the air, the quiet of the living creatures and you knew...get to the basement. 

And now, as Hurricanes are roaring about in the Caribbean and Gulf, I am told the same stillness is in the air. I'm sure some one with knowledge of these things could explain why.  In my mind, I'm thinking all the motion is being pulled in to the monster storms before they release their wrath on the landmasses, big and small, in there path. Harvey has already done it's deed to Texas, and now Irma has My Island in it's sights looking to be close or a direct hit. My hope is it will move quickly and cause the least devastation possible. Be safe to all in the paths of these natural phenomenons.  May your lives be spared, and your homes be safe. 

It took me another 6 weeks, but here finally, is the low down on a lovely long weekend in Chicago.  I think I want to call this a true walking adventure. Every one seems to be in to their steps these days, how about 58,791  in 4 days!  What weekend in Chicago would be complete with out a trip to Harry Carey's.  My friend and I had lunch there after a mid day arrival.  It was a great atmosphere. Fun collectibles hanging around the building and as a bonus the food and the prices were good. That evening we went to the Second City Comedy Club and saw their political satire, "The Winner of our discontent." I thought it was quite funny. 

  ​Saturday, the big event was to go to the Memorial Day Parade. I've been traveling in a few cities on Holidays before and thought it would be fun to see how they celebrate. I wasn't disappointed. The parade was a long one. With many different bands and military groups past and future (ROTC) represented. 

After the parade we made our way down to the River Walk. The city has done a great job of creating a lovely area downtown with restaurants and pubs along the Chicago River where people can enjoy the environment and grab a water taxi if they need to.  

​We decided to go on a Architecture River Cruise. It was a great way to get to see the many different styles of buildings as well as hear stories about who had designed them and when they were built. There were many buildings that have been re-purposed. With the changes in manufacturing, what was once an old factory is now a much sought after apartment building. According to our guide, Mrs. O'Leary's cow didn't start the Great Chicago Fire. 

Then it was on to Navy Pier. Situated on Lake Michigan it was a lovely environment. There were rides for kids and shopping for adults, all right along the Lake with a nice breeze and a fun environment. We went to a restaurant called Chango Loco for a late lunch early dinner. 

Our next day was our last full day, so we tried to fit in all kinds of things. Again with our feet as out primary mode of transportation we made our way first to Millennium  Park to see "The Bean". It's real name is Cloud Gate. What an interesting piece of modern art. It's so interactive yet has no technology. Just a big reflective surface shaped like a bean! 

From Millennium Park we walked through Grant Park to Lake Shore Drive to Shedd's Aquarium.  The line was long so we decided to hop a taxi and go to the Museum of Science and Technology. There was so much to see! We hoped a taxi to Chinatown for lunch. Then just in the nick of time found a taxi back to our hotel to avoid a downpour! Phew!  It was time to rest the tired puppies a little before we headed out again to peruse the Magnificent Mile.  We went in a few places including The American Girl store, Ghirardelli Chocolates and the Garret Popcorn Store.  We stopped at the Rock Bottom Brewery for a small bite to eat before calling it a night. What a day we had seen so much and walked just over 10 miles in ONE DAY!
I don't think I saw or did everything there is to do in Chicago. But I sure did have a great experience. I would highly recommend Downtown Chicago for a Spring or Fall long weekend. I think I'd skip it in the winter for sure! 

I had every intention of posting photos and dialog about my Memorial Day weekend trip to Chicago and then...real life just didn't give me time. I will get to the Chicago weekend, what a GREAT city. But first, a brief catch up on life.  My Mom has been really got sick again.  I am glad to say, she is doing much better now, but about 30 days ago, well...I wasn't so sure she was going to be around much longer. The truth of the matter, she's getting up there and her heart is struggling to keep up. She has Afib and Kidney disease. Treatment of both of these issues is a very delicate balancing act. When she gets run down, she just can't get her strength back, and gets exhausted.  And well, she's about as stubborn as they come!  I think this last time scared her.  I also think she will continue to do what ever she wants to do, against the advice of her children.  We have made some life adjustments, to decrease her required things to do. Hopefully she will be able to do the things she wants to do.  As of now, she is still in a nursing home for rehab. That time is coming to an end soon. I am hoping we don't end up in this same situation again. 

I don't think this post will be what you might expect. You may not recall, but when I flew the beginning of February there was a couple with 3 large "service dogs" on my flight. The dogs were very well behaved, the humans, not so much. Well, I'm beginning to think there is a pattern here.  On my flight home yesterday a gate agent boarded the plane and asked the women next to me about the dog she was traveling with. In my opinion he was not rude at all. She was very defensive and called  the airlines customer service immediately. She didn't even hand the man her documents. Just called and started complaining about how he was treating her. Honestly, the dog was a bulldog and should probably not have been on the plane as that breed is indeed on the list of banned breeds. The dog had no service vest, or obvious tags. It bit at it's owner twice when she shoved it down off her lap while she slept and the dog was discontent. Even climbing on the center arm rest. I emailed the airline because she told whomever she reached on the phone that the gate agent was rude. He was not. People always take time to complain, never to compliment. I am all about people who truly need service dogs, but the Doctors who are committing Medical Malpractice so spoiled self centered people can take pets along for free are getting out of control. I actually know people who have done this! 100% do not need the dog, but hey now it flies for free and they don't have to pay for a kennel. I for one would like to go back to the days of pets being cargo. I love my dog, but he does not need to be on a plane, at the grocery store or on vacation with me.  I am sorry for the gentleman that this women was so rude to. He was doing his job. I actually did give the woman the same lecture. I told her to put herself in his place, the paperwork did not appear to be in order. It was his job to ask, and he did. Just because she called earlier, doesn't mean it will be okay. Have your documents ready and be prepared to show them as a traveler in society today that is how it is.  Don't think because you got your dog on the plane you are above being asked for proof. Airline staff actually have our lives in their hands with MUCH bigger issues. Leave the pets at home folks. Learn to handle life on it's own, unless you truly need a service dog. Then I  am 100% in your corner.  Service dogs are a right, not a privilege get it straight. Service dogs behave in a very specific manner. They don't bite, climb and walk around discontent. They stay with their owner and care for them.  They are highly trained aides for many people with a wide variety of real needs. Fake news, Fake ailments, Fake people...sad, sad, sad.

I love when spring finally arrives. Life gets full and busy again. I like it that way. Keeps me from being bored and focusing on the what ifs and maybe's of life.  Last weekend I went on a 4 mile hike with a new group of people. I think I've discovered one of the things I need is new friends.  My best friend lives hundreds of miles away, my next closet friend an hour away. So I need to find folks, even if they are more like acquaintances, to hang out with.  I'm not looking to give up on the people I know that are near by, I just need to find people who fit my life better. And so that quest has begun.  Slow and steady evolution of me! 

​This year has been such a major improvement at work. It's been a pleasure instead of constant stress. Today was a bit of a side step.  I guess I should state that on the 25th I send out a plethora of reports for all of the companies I am responsible for.  One of the companies is having a rough month. I have been discussing it with the Manager there for over a week. Sent him preliminary reports to review a week ago. Today, after I prepped the VP that there would be issues with the reports,  he called the manager. Suddenly he decides to review the prelim...he now thinks there is an issue with a particular line item. So you had 7 days to look at this? And you wait until 2 hours before I have to have it out? This same manager sent me an email at 4:50pm last Friday and said hey I need these three contracts tomorrow can you get them typed up? He has been fairly warned, be proactive.  Only a few rough hours, not day after day...keep it in perspective.  

​​It's time to travel the world again, headed some place new this weekend. Camera in hand! As we all enjoy the benefits that so many have fought and died for this weekend let's keep that in mind. Our privileges have come from a lot of dedication and sacrifice for many years, by many people, those enlisted and the families that support them.  Thank you!