There is no doubt this is a complicated issue. What part of life isn't.  There are expectations of understanding on both sides that can be so challenging.  I am not talking about '20 something just getting out of college trying to find their life path, I am talking about kids who have a life path and want to move back in for a moment.  Let me explain...
This all becomes an issue because 5 years later I am told that one of my children is "still" hurt that I did not want her to renovate my small basement and move in with her 3 kids while her husband was away for work for a year.  When the subject was broached 5 years ago, I said no. It will cost too much, and even then would not be suitable in my opinion for people to live in, she heard "You don't want me here." Hmm, so maybe a bit of both is true. At that time I suggested moving to the same town and yes of course they could be at my house, I would be in theirs but my house was (and is) too small at only 1000 sg ft to accommodate that volume of  people for a long term living space.  This was not a life emergency, this was a life choice. Very different. If you will be homeless, if you need to re-group, yes even though it's cramped we will find a way.  The reality is, I don't think a moments thought went in to what the effect on my life would be. There would be no place to watch the TV programs that I like, as even when they visit now, I don't do that because I know it doesn't fit their life style. My ideas and her's don't always match up. I don't think the volume of video games and voices needs to keep escalating as each child tries to out noise the other in the same room as the only TV.  It's just complicated. There is only one space to sit and relax in my house.  The upstairs is their sleeping accommodations.  I live a very different life than they do. I want to have friends over, go out and maybe if I ever found the right person date some one. How do I do that with adult children living in my home with their children? I hear her talk about her mother in law and her "dating" habits with disapproval.  It's not Ozzie and Harriett at my house, it's just Harriett and I still wanna find my Ozzie.  It's like I am supposed to say sure come in, turn my life upside down, and then leave and go back to yours. I just don't think that is appropriate.  Oh and by the way, I am supposed to stay out of their personal business? Umm really? If you live in this small space how am I supposed to do that? Don't put your business in my face, and I will stay out of it.  Same goes for them, I don't want my kids in my personal business, but I don't put it in their face. 

This same child also told me how upset she was that I didn't come to Japan immediately when my first grandchild was born, almost 10 years ago.  Hmm, I had a 14 year old daughter living at home at the time. I was not rolling in money, and a job where I could not take off more than 5 days...so exactly how was I supposed to pull that off?  Fly half way around the world to spend maybe 3 days? Sigh...when I finally was able to go 10 months later, apparently I only went to see the Cherry Blossoms...seriously? What the heck...

My door is always open for visits from all my kids: always has been, always will be.  And my home is open in life emergencies, yes that has happened too.  But there is an expectation of time for normalcy to live my life, and honestly, I have that right.  Judge not, lest ye be judged child. One day you will be the parent of adult children.

My suggestion to any parent or child...find the balance...And for goodness sake respect a parents right to live their life.  Before you get all out of whack because they don't see things the way you do, try looking through their eyes. Looking at your parents life and UNDERSTANDING what they do every day. I work 9-11 hours a day Mon - Friday (sometimes on the weekend ,too) I want to relax when I get home. I want space to be me.   I am only 54, I have a lot of living left to do, and it will be on my terms. 

WEBSITES AND LINKS
Snoopy's Bar & Grill   https://snoopysbar.com/
Seagrape Tours     https://seagrapetours.com/
Simpson Bay Resort   http://simpsonbayresortmarina.com/
Billy Bones Boat Charters  http://boatchartersxm.com/
Sale & Pepe  https://www.facebook.com/SALE-PEPE-SXM-536833439816354/
Isola   http://isolasxm.com/
Avantika http://www.avantikasxm.com/
Friar's Bay Beach Club https://www.facebook.com/pages/Friars-Bay-Beach-Café-Ici-Tes-
Zee Best http://www.zeebestrestaurant.com/
Red Piano https://www.theredpianosxm.com/
Emilio's ​https://emilios-sxm.com/

I had no idea as I wrote my last post just what horrors were about to happen in the Caribbean. I am mindful as I type this that the hurricane season is not over, not even close. Irma and then Marie spinning and swirling, Irma so strong that it drained the ocean of it's waters two different times.  Irma was a direct hit on the Island of St. Maarten. Many lost everything, many lost a lot, and most sorrowful of all some lost their lives. I am deeply saddened by it all. 

​ The waters are not as blue...yet...they will be
​ The beaches are not as clean...yet...they will be
​ The buildings are not there...yet...they will be
 The tourists are not welcome...yet...they will be
 The water is not back on everywhere...yet...it will be
 The roads are not all cleared...yet...they will be
​ The electric is not back on everywhere...yet...it will be
 The airport isn't open...yet...it will be
​The Palm fronds are not on the trees...yet...they will be
The cruise ships have not returned...yet...they will be
The restaurants are not up and running...yet...they will be
The curfew is not lifted...yet...but it will be

​The people of St. Maarten are strong and resilient.  Already, just 21 days later they have begun rebuilding and getting life back to "normal".  Restaurants  have opened with limited menus. If nothing else but to be there to have fresh food for people. Prices are discounted. People have places to gather, to share, to support one another.  It will be a very long time before things get back to normal. With their economy being 100% dependent on tourism, it is imperative that they get back on their feet as quickly as possible. The Dutch motherland has come to their aid at a rapid pace.  My heart is a bit heavy knowing how much they are struggling.  I was relieved to hear from all of my friends that live on the island. They were born there, they will die there. They are native St. Maarteners.  I respect them so much. They band together and take care of those who need help. That's not always the same as those who want help. I understand that statement very well, I'm sure you do too! As soon as the time is right, as soon as it is deemed appropriate...I will be back my dear Sint Maarten. #SXMSTRONG
​

The recent eclipse reminded me of the wonders of nature. I was like everyone else standing out side in mid-afternoon amazed at how dark it was. One of my co-workers had the cool NASA approved glasses so we actually got to look at the event happening, truly amazing! 

But even if you could not see it, you could feel it, you could hear it. Something unusual was about to happen in nature and the balance of the world was different. It is almost an eerie stillness. The animals were quiet, the atmosphere felt different you just knew, this isn't a regular afternoon.

The same holds true for tornadoes. Having been raised in southwestern Ohio, it was normal to have the little "watch" symbol in the bottom corner of the TV every afternoon. It was so expected, you really didn't see it anymore. But if you went outside, you could feel that eerie stillness in the air, the quiet of the living creatures and you knew...get to the basement. 

And now, as Hurricanes are roaring about in the Caribbean and Gulf, I am told the same stillness is in the air. I'm sure some one with knowledge of these things could explain why.  In my mind, I'm thinking all the motion is being pulled in to the monster storms before they release their wrath on the landmasses, big and small, in there path. Harvey has already done it's deed to Texas, and now Irma has My Island in it's sights looking to be close or a direct hit. My hope is it will move quickly and cause the least devastation possible. Be safe to all in the paths of these natural phenomenons.  May your lives be spared, and your homes be safe. 

I had every intention of posting photos and dialog about my Memorial Day weekend trip to Chicago and then...real life just didn't give me time. I will get to the Chicago weekend, what a GREAT city. But first, a brief catch up on life.  My Mom has been really got sick again.  I am glad to say, she is doing much better now, but about 30 days ago, well...I wasn't so sure she was going to be around much longer. The truth of the matter, she's getting up there and her heart is struggling to keep up. She has Afib and Kidney disease. Treatment of both of these issues is a very delicate balancing act. When she gets run down, she just can't get her strength back, and gets exhausted.  And well, she's about as stubborn as they come!  I think this last time scared her.  I also think she will continue to do what ever she wants to do, against the advice of her children.  We have made some life adjustments, to decrease her required things to do. Hopefully she will be able to do the things she wants to do.  As of now, she is still in a nursing home for rehab. That time is coming to an end soon. I am hoping we don't end up in this same situation again. 

I don't think this post will be what you might expect. You may not recall, but when I flew the beginning of February there was a couple with 3 large "service dogs" on my flight. The dogs were very well behaved, the humans, not so much. Well, I'm beginning to think there is a pattern here.  On my flight home yesterday a gate agent boarded the plane and asked the women next to me about the dog she was traveling with. In my opinion he was not rude at all. She was very defensive and called  the airlines customer service immediately. She didn't even hand the man her documents. Just called and started complaining about how he was treating her. Honestly, the dog was a bulldog and should probably not have been on the plane as that breed is indeed on the list of banned breeds. The dog had no service vest, or obvious tags. It bit at it's owner twice when she shoved it down off her lap while she slept and the dog was discontent. Even climbing on the center arm rest. I emailed the airline because she told whomever she reached on the phone that the gate agent was rude. He was not. People always take time to complain, never to compliment. I am all about people who truly need service dogs, but the Doctors who are committing Medical Malpractice so spoiled self centered people can take pets along for free are getting out of control. I actually know people who have done this! 100% do not need the dog, but hey now it flies for free and they don't have to pay for a kennel. I for one would like to go back to the days of pets being cargo. I love my dog, but he does not need to be on a plane, at the grocery store or on vacation with me.  I am sorry for the gentleman that this women was so rude to. He was doing his job. I actually did give the woman the same lecture. I told her to put herself in his place, the paperwork did not appear to be in order. It was his job to ask, and he did. Just because she called earlier, doesn't mean it will be okay. Have your documents ready and be prepared to show them as a traveler in society today that is how it is.  Don't think because you got your dog on the plane you are above being asked for proof. Airline staff actually have our lives in their hands with MUCH bigger issues. Leave the pets at home folks. Learn to handle life on it's own, unless you truly need a service dog. Then I  am 100% in your corner.  Service dogs are a right, not a privilege get it straight. Service dogs behave in a very specific manner. They don't bite, climb and walk around discontent. They stay with their owner and care for them.  They are highly trained aides for many people with a wide variety of real needs. Fake news, Fake ailments, Fake people...sad, sad, sad.

I love when spring finally arrives. Life gets full and busy again. I like it that way. Keeps me from being bored and focusing on the what ifs and maybe's of life.  Last weekend I went on a 4 mile hike with a new group of people. I think I've discovered one of the things I need is new friends.  My best friend lives hundreds of miles away, my next closet friend an hour away. So I need to find folks, even if they are more like acquaintances, to hang out with.  I'm not looking to give up on the people I know that are near by, I just need to find people who fit my life better. And so that quest has begun.  Slow and steady evolution of me! 

​This year has been such a major improvement at work. It's been a pleasure instead of constant stress. Today was a bit of a side step.  I guess I should state that on the 25th I send out a plethora of reports for all of the companies I am responsible for.  One of the companies is having a rough month. I have been discussing it with the Manager there for over a week. Sent him preliminary reports to review a week ago. Today, after I prepped the VP that there would be issues with the reports,  he called the manager. Suddenly he decides to review the prelim...he now thinks there is an issue with a particular line item. So you had 7 days to look at this? And you wait until 2 hours before I have to have it out? This same manager sent me an email at 4:50pm last Friday and said hey I need these three contracts tomorrow can you get them typed up? He has been fairly warned, be proactive.  Only a few rough hours, not day after day...keep it in perspective.  

​​It's time to travel the world again, headed some place new this weekend. Camera in hand! As we all enjoy the benefits that so many have fought and died for this weekend let's keep that in mind. Our privileges have come from a lot of dedication and sacrifice for many years, by many people, those enlisted and the families that support them.  Thank you!

It was  a pretty damp, dreary weekend here in the Northeast but I was able to find a few good hours to dig a new garden. A month ago I had purchased 30 Lily bulbs knowing they needed a place to be planted. I delayed the project waiting for the Aprils showers to warm up to May Sunshine.  I dug out a 10 foot by 2 foot patch, peeled up the grass and planted the lily bulbs then enclosed it in a gardening fence, hoping to keep the wild animals out or at least deterred. I threw on some top soil, too.  Here's hoping I have a lovely flower garden to share photos of sometime in the near future.

​Today my thigh muscles and glutes are telling me a did some real work! Not a bad thing at all, I still did my 2 mile walk as well. I have been trying to get that in 5 days a week. Started out a mile, now I've expanded it but kept the time the same, going a little farther and a bit faster when I get comfortable.  

​Spring is so much about clean slates, starting fresh and new beginnings to me. I'm ready to embrace the future and see where it takes me.  

Life it happens to us all. It's easy to forget that. It's not easy today.  I have a friend, she actually graduated high school with my daughter. But we are connected in many ways. We actually met through a work affiliation. We were sitting there and connected the dots...we lived in the same town, she graduated in my daughter's class, and oh...she and I share the same birth date. We aren't best friends, but in that work environment she is my friend. The end of last year she was diagnosed with leukemia. Ugh!!! How is that possible.  She's strong, she's young...she's in for the fight of her life. She was doing well...today I hear...not so good...it's back to the hospital for a much more aggressive treatment, like the first one wasn't tough enough?  My heart aches for her, and her parents. I can't even begin to think what it would be like.

​Later today I'm scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I see multiple posts to another friend, "heard you and the family were in an accident"? Ugh? No response, looked on his wife's page...no posts hmm? Okay, text the same mutual friend that told me earlier today about my young friend going back to the hospital...Yes, it's true. My friends wife and children were indeed in a car accident. There are some broken bones. A lot of bumps and bruises...but they will all be okay.  I am some what relieved. Auto accidents have indeed touched my life very closely, having lost 3 close relatives to the hands of others poor driving.  I've reached out...hoping to prepare a meal and drop it off when they are ready for it.  I got an update from my friend late tonight, a bit more serious than originally thought. There is indeed some permanent damage to his wife's leg.  The simple moral of this story DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE!!  The person who hit his family, wasn't even looking when they crossed the middle line and smashed in to them. 

​Just one of those days that make my heart sad.  I wish everyday could be full of sunshine and rainbows, but sometimes...they just aren't.

Well, not your typical anniversary...like years married or in a job...no this week bears the anniversary of my near death experience. No, I don't have stories of the afterlife or bright lights,  I guess I wasn't that near death. But if you were me...it was. It came down to a simply decision really, one that even now, 4 years later I give 100% of the credit to my sweet departed dog, he's been gone now 2 years, the anniversary of his passing is also coming up soon. Anyway, I was sick, having recently flown, not hard to believe. An adult with 102 fever even on medication...yeah that's sick. I had been to my primary doctor twice in 24 hours. They assured me, I would feel better soon and to just take the antibiotics they had given me. (There's a lot more story to this but I'm trying to not focus on how inept they were.) So that night I was laying on my bed, my throat feeling worse, with hardly any voice and barely able to swallow water, and I came to a cross roads: either take the medication and go to sleep or go to the hospital. It wasn't an easy thing to decide. Having grown up with a nurse as a mom, well you just didn't over-react to medical things.  But my dog, he made me aware this was no joke. He didn't leave my side that day or evening. He followed me every time I left a room. When I was laying on my bed trying to make that decision he was right there next to me. He wouldn't eat, or go out side. He was worried about me.  I decided to go to the hospital. And probably not a moment to soon. Within an hour of walking in to the ER I was intubated and put into a medically induced coma. I woke up 3.5 days later.  Epiglottitis: an infection of the epiglottis.  1 in 100,000 Adults are stricken with this a year.  They never could tell me why it happened, but they did assure me it is highly unlikely it would ever happen again. My take away from this, 4 years later, it did take awhile to get to this point...live every day to the fullest, as much as you can. you never know what day will be your last. Live, Love, Laugh and Enjoy every day!