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Adult Children

6/13/2018

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 There is no doubt this is a complicated issue. What part of life isn't.  There are expectations of understanding on both sides that can be so challenging.  I am not talking about '20 something just getting out of college trying to find their life path, I am talking about kids who have a life path and want to move back in for a moment.  Let me explain...
This all becomes an issue because 5 years later I am told that one of my children is "still" hurt that I did not want her to renovate my small basement and move in with her 3 kids while her husband was away for work for a year.  When the subject was broached 5 years ago, I said no. It will cost too much, and even then would not be suitable in my opinion for people to live in, she heard "You don't want me here." Hmm, so maybe a bit of both is true. At that time I suggested moving to the same town and yes of course they could be at my house, I would be in theirs but my house was (and is) too small at only 1000 sg ft to accommodate that volume of  people for a long term living space.  This was not a life emergency, this was a life choice. Very different. If you will be homeless, if you need to re-group, yes even though it's cramped we will find a way.  The reality is, I don't think a moments thought went in to what the effect on my life would be. There would be no place to watch the TV programs that I like, as even when they visit now, I don't do that because I know it doesn't fit their life style. My ideas and her's don't always match up. I don't think the volume of video games and voices needs to keep escalating as each child tries to out noise the other in the same room as the only TV.  It's just complicated. There is only one space to sit and relax in my house.  The upstairs is their sleeping accommodations.  I live a very different life than they do. I want to have friends over, go out and maybe if I ever found the right person date some one. How do I do that with adult children living in my home with their children? I hear her talk about her mother in law and her "dating" habits with disapproval.  It's not Ozzie and Harriett at my house, it's just Harriett and I still wanna find my Ozzie.  It's like I am supposed to say sure come in, turn my life upside down, and then leave and go back to yours. I just don't think that is appropriate.  Oh and by the way, I am supposed to stay out of their personal business? Umm really? If you live in this small space how am I supposed to do that? Don't put your business in my face, and I will stay out of it.  Same goes for them, I don't want my kids in my personal business, but I don't put it in their face. 

This same child also told me how upset she was that I didn't come to Japan immediately when my first grandchild was born, almost 10 years ago.  Hmm, I had a 14 year old daughter living at home at the time. I was not rolling in money, and a job where I could not take off more than 5 days...so exactly how was I supposed to pull that off?  Fly half way around the world to spend maybe 3 days? Sigh...when I finally was able to go 10 months later, apparently I only went to see the Cherry Blossoms...seriously? What the heck...

My door is always open for visits from all my kids: always has been, always will be.  And my home is open in life emergencies, yes that has happened too.  But there is an expectation of time for normalcy to live my life, and honestly, I have that right.  Judge not, lest ye be judged child. One day you will be the parent of adult children.

My suggestion to any parent or child...find the balance...And for goodness sake respect a parents right to live their life.  Before you get all out of whack because they don't see things the way you do, try looking through their eyes. Looking at your parents life and UNDERSTANDING what they do every day. I work 9-11 hours a day Mon - Friday (sometimes on the weekend ,too) I want to relax when I get home. I want space to be me.   I am only 54, I have a lot of living left to do, and it will be on my terms. 
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Finally going home...

5/15/2018

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4/27 Well...I had that feeling, you know the one in your gut, if you tell anyone ahead of time they will think you are certifiable, but I somehow knew this flight would have issues. And so it did. Everything started out okay:Rapid Rover was relatively on time, I must remember to pad my time when I book in the future, but I digress. Anyway, got through security, grabbed some breakfast and boarded the Miami bound flight to make the short 1 hour connection to my beloved St. Maarten. The travel gods had different plans. Once boarded and seemingly ready to go...the door of the play was not shut, the delay seemed to linger...then the pilot announced we have a mechanical issue...we should be on our way in 30 minutes or so. Already 25 minutes late, it was time to ask the dreaded question, what about my connection? The stewardess informed me after a bit of prodding, that they could not hold the sxm bound flight, so I would most likely miss my flight. UGH!!!!  No, I want to be there. I want to greet my friends, I want to help them rebuild. I want to go now! 5 hours and 2 Irish coffees later, I boarded the flight and departed for Miami, booked on tomorrow’s flight to SXM. A day late is better than never my sweet St. Maarten Land. I won’t lie, Yes...I cried. I was able to reach everyone on Island to cancel plans for Friday and Saturday morning and move them to the next day.

On the upside, American Airlines will be treating me to a night in Miami and some food vouchers. When I get back home that very well could be expanded to some flight vouchers as well. And I met some fun people along the way.

Amy, who is traveling with friends who made it to SXM today and happens to be staying at SBR. I am hoping to run in to them along the way. We cheered, sitting in the bar when it was finally past noon, just because the day had been so long already!

The fun guy I call 411, because he works for AA but was a passenger, and was giving us inside info about sticking with the flight we were on or baling for a different flight. He was on point, and funny.

The gamer who sat next to me on the flight and told me I can find Commander  Keen at GOG.Com (gold old games) That was a cool tip. He is headed to St. Thomas, but will also be stuck in Miami for the night.

We have plans to meet up at the hotel bar and enjoy the evening. Hoping that pans out. Rough start. But, Bob Marley sing it to me...Don’t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright.

Well, you won’t believe this!  We were diverted to Fort Myers to refuel...because we didn’t have enough to circle Miami because of weather!  What??? Can you say free flight voucher! I will be working on that when I get home.  I knew there was bad weather in Miami, why didn’t the airlines??? Sigh, what a long disappointing day!

The fun night in Miami?? Ha, got to hotel about 9 something...got some food, had a drink and called it a night. 8am I will start over again and be on the way to St. Maarten.


4/28/18
Travel today was smooth. Yeah for that. Had some anxiety about all of that , yesterday was just so bad. But...it was smooth and simple! Phew!!! Landing in SXM, hmm, first glimpse of the island through the window, just the color of the water... I teared up a bit. Yes, it’s still here. My heart and head, were wondering, how will it be? Am I going to lose my composure and sob? What right do I have? Seriously...get a grip woman!  The process was smooth. Walk from the plane to a tent and line up for immigration. Got a little teary eyed when I was standing waiting to enter the tent and saw into what was the beautiful Princess Juliana Airport Terminal. It was just devastated. Of course I knew that...but now I saw that, here with my eyes. I touched a pillar, and just said I am here, St. Maarten, I am here. It had been over a year, all because that bitch IRMA, interrupted life with her fury. I hope no island is ever faced with that horror again.

Immigration was smooth and efficient. The luggage process. Oh my!!! Try and ever get an american airport to work this hard to get you your luggage!  They load it from the plane on to the carts by hand. Then they drive it to the “arrivals tent” and unload it by hand. Then Luggage handlers roll it out, hoping the owner is right there. Some people are impatient and cross over the “boundary” to retrieve their own bags. Most wait until it’s their turn. It was about 6 people deep when we arrived, so I opted to wait until the crowd thinned.  As it turned out, Air France had arrived just before us, and it was quite a large group.

Once my bags were in hand we proceeded outside to attempt to find Porsche, our pre-arranged Taxi driver. As we exited the terminal a gentleman asked, do you need a taxi. I said, “Yes, but it is pre-arranged.”, He replied, “Oh, are you looking for Porsche?” I was stunned, he pointed, “She is right there.”  I hugged her, I don’t even know this woman. But she took the time to make it easy for us, and there it was. An uneventful ride to the hotel, got checked in, and it was time to prepare to meet Laura some friends who live on the island for Dinner at Snoopy’s.  

Snoopy’s Ahh...what a great spot! So happy for Horse’s success so far. May he be given more as time goes on. His integrity and good character have won my support for many years. Met up with the Simply SXM folks. It was nice to put real people with the names and such. Jeff and Becky are among my favs so far.  The food was great. One of my friends was surprised to get the whole fish, Snapper. But it was very good. I had the Garlic Shrimp with fresh veggies and rice and beans. Wonderful! Horse said he grows his own spinach and his family makes sugar cane rum on Dominica.  Now see, that’s the kind of man I need. Motivated and hard working, but I digress. What a fun time! There was a Reggae band there. They were wonderful. The plan is to return for Cinco de Mayo. It will be my last night, I have to spend it there!


4/29 Sunday
Today was the History Tour with David of Seagrape Tours. What a great experience!  Did I retain even ⅓ of what he told me? No, of course not. But he was a fabulous guide. And showed me so many sights I had wanted to see. Due to the damage from Hurricane Irma, we were unable to go in to Fort Amsterdam, but we stopped at Belair Beach, and I did get a great photo of it. This is also the site where the Chinese resort is supposed to go. I hear that is now a thing of the past. I sure hope so. Sadly, it was also the beginning of seeing just how much damage was done, all over the island. He explained about the salt ponds, and how the island was formed. We stopped off at the Emilio Wilson Park which was oddly locked with a padlock. We found a back way to get in anyway. David explained about Emilio and what he had done for the island, including preserving the land from his plantation from over building. I saw the zip line for the first time, it’s not as bad as I thought it was. If the dutch locals are okay with it, then hopefully it is good for the Island. After that, it was on to the French side. Oh MY!!! The damage is still quite evident. There are signs of recovery everywhere, but one side to the other, the french side is still struggling. Fort Louis was open for visitation. It was quite a few steps up, but I am glad to say, not as many as it used to be. Yeah for shortcuts and tour guides!

After the tour there was time to relax on the beach at SBR before dinner at Avantika. This restaurant had been recommended many times but I had never gotten there. Finally, I made it!!! What a menu. It was hard to decide what to order, but I persevered and decided on Asparagus and Shrimp stir fry.  You can pick the level of spice from none to level 6. I went with my safe mild, cause that’s how I roll. I will make this one of my regular stops in the future. Delicious and fun staff!


4/30 Monday
Today was hmm, one of the main events I guess. Check off the box, I have been to Carnival in St. Maarten. I really wasn’t sure what to expect. The day started by taking my reliable Taxi to Carnival Village. I was supposed to meet a local friend there. When I called they said, oh, I thought you would be late. No, they weren’t there yet.  My wonderful cabbie, “I’m not leaving you here alone.” I laughed, and appreciated her company and guidance around the relatively empty carnival village. Porsche left me in the care of her friend the owner of Flemings and was on her way. JJ arrived, and we were off to watch the parade. Now, I had no idea at the time, or maybe it was some time in the middle of the day, that I was basically at the judges stand all day! JJ didn’t introduce me to any one that way. What a great day! They had an elevated viewing area that was covered. That was a great bonus, as standing in the sun all day would probably not have ended well for me. The costumes were beautiful. The music was fun. The people were happy!  They danced and smiled for miles and miles. There had been a lot of debate before Carnival this year, that due to the difficult circumstances caused by Irma, the festivities should be cancelled. But I was of the opinion, that after 8 months, these people needed their normal happiness, they needed the fun, the music, the socialization, THEY NEEDED CARNIVAL MORE THAN EVER BEFORE!!!!! I can not explain how happy it made me to be there, to watch this event and to share in the joy. We didn’t watch the parade end once, we watched it 3 times. Once at the viewing stand, then we walked over and watched it pass on front street by the Holland House, then we watched as it made it’s way in to Carnival Village. JJ got some soup, then we went on to our next adventure…

A moonlight walk from Le Galion to Orient and back. Well, after 7 hours of carnival, this was an ambitious undertaking. Hindsight said, duh you should have gone to Church on Monday...but this was fun, in a different way. About ½ way down Orient Beach, a group of us, said...go on...we will wait here. The people running the walk were not to keen on the idea. But we had stopped at a well lite area near Orient Village, and as growns up said, we will wait here. What a fun time, sitting on the beach laughing and enjoying good company.  When the group returned, we dragged ourselves up and walked back to Le Galion. The moonlit sky was beautiful. The surf was calm. I am glad that we did it, but my poor feet!  I ended up with a bad blister, and rubs on the back of both heels. When the day was over, 18,000 steps!


5/1 Tuesday

After a day like yesterday, there was only one thing to do today...lay low and chill at the resort!!! I have roamed all over this island with my friends, but right here, Simpson Bay Resort. Yep, that is my comfort zone. I know where I am. I know what to do, how to get a round, and the staff, accommodations and food are wonderful. Someday’s that’s all you need.

There was a bit of excitement at the pool. Seems that some NE Patriot fans, can’t lose with grace. This guy started calling Philadelphia, Filthy Philly. When he got called on it, he tried to back down...it was rather comical, since he was put in his place buy several die hard FEMALE Eagles fans!  Fly, Eagles, Fly!!!

After a day of luxury poolside, I decided dinner at Pineapple Pete’s was a good idea. All the times I had visited, I’d never gone there. Well, now I know why. The food was okay, but not as good as so many of the places that exist on St. Maarten. The vegetables that were served on the side of my Garlic Shrimp were bland, most likely frozen at some point. The friend I went out with had the Lobster Thermidor. It is what Pineapple Pete’s is know for, she said it was delicious, so maybe that is their deal, go with the signature...most expensive...dish.


5/2 Wednesday
Today’s adventure on St. Maarten...An awesome round the island Snorkeling excursion with Billy Bones Tours. What a BLAST!!! Simpson Bay Lagoon, Creole Rock, Tintamarre, Pinel, Grand Case, Maho, but it was raining so hard, no photos at Maho. But so much fun! Crazy Chris takes it to a whole new level! Captain Allen was amazing, dealing with all the weather, swells, and a few frightened passengers (no not me, I was loving it from start to finish, even in the rain) with great skill.  What a spectacular fun filled day! After a ride over from Philipsburg, we went through Simpsons Bay Lagoon. It was sad to see so many sunken, and half sunken boats. Some pushed up against the bridges and shores with people living in them.  Different stages of recovered, recovering, abandoned and waiting for Insurance. It will take time. Luckily, the Lagoon is healing, and there doesn’t seem to be any more fuel leaking. Next up, Creole Rock and Tintamarre. I had never been snorkeling, but today was the day to try it. Oh my goodness!!!  I saw fish, up close and personal, fish of different sizes and shapes and colors. Fish I have only seen in movies or books. Spiky sea urchins, I could go on and on. Next time, a water camera will go along for this adventure. And there will be a next time. The reefs are starting to grow back. I will also wear a shirt over my swimsuit, got a bit of a burn on my back. We left Tintamarre and headed to Pinel where the Iguanas rule the roost. They were pretty tame, and would even let you pet them if you wanted to. On my next visit, I think a full day on Pinel is in order.  There are 2 lovely restaurants, chairs and I could definitely walk around and enjoy the environment.  After our brief visit on Pinel it was off to Grand Case. Okay, that was a rough one to pull up to, even though the folks on the boat were happy and the music was playing, I was holding back tears. The only thing up and running, Rainbow Cafe. The food they served us, wasn’t what I would expect from Rainbow, but it was boat trip fare. It was good, just not french faire like I had hoped. After that we headed toward Maho Beach. As we traveled along it became clear that it was going to rain, not a passing shower, but a major downpour!  And it did, with a vengeance!  I figured, I have been in water all day, so I enjoyed!  I had hoped to see my friends plane that was arriving land, but we missed it by about 10 minutes. Oh well!  It was raining too hard for pictures anyway. We dropped the cruise passengers off in Philipsburg and then headed back to Simpson Bay. I would highly recommend Billy Bones Boat Charters to any one!

As I said my friend, I call her Mama, arrived today. So now the days will be different because she is an island expert!  Tonight we went to Jimbo’s for dinner.. I had shrimp fajitas. Always delicious. The margarita was wonderful too!  I could really go for one of those about now. And then off to Snoopy’s because, that is where it’s fun to be.


5/3 Thursday
Today we finally made it out for breakfast. It had been such a busy week so far, it was easier to just eat in the room. We were heading to the french side beaches today, so we stopped at Simpson Bay Yacht Club. As remembered, breakfast was delicious. We left SBYC and headed out. Having been on the tours earlier this week, I had seen a lot, but this was the first real view for Mama. Yeah, it’s hard to see. But you look real close, you remember the photos you saw right after that Bitch Irma tore through, and you realize how much progress has been made. Even though driving through Maho, you see shells of buildings, the reality is that it had to get torn down, to be rebuilt. Yes, my sweet St. Maarten, you are in the next phase. We drove through Maho, Cupecoy, stopped at Baie Rouge, Belmond La Sammon as we came around the curve, there they were...the cows that wander around unfenced these days,  in the road. Once the cows and bulls by the way, wandered out of the road we went on to Friars Bay Beach Club. Now this is what I am talking about, so very french. We rented chairs right by the surf and settled in for a lovely day. There were a few passing rain showers, but nothing to ruin our day. I found some sea glass, yeah!!! another goal for this trip. Who am I kidding, that will be a goal for every trip. Also found a tiny little conch shell that I snuck home, shhh! Today was indeed a true french meal. For lunch I had Coconut Shrimp with Mango Salsa and Mint. It was magnifique!!! I also managed to get a Carnival Coke Can. I know strange goals. But it’s the little things that I want to hold on to. On the way back to Simpson’s  Bay we drove through Grand Case. Oh wow!  As bad as it looked from the water side, it was 10 times worse from the street side. We drove on around through Philipsburg and back to the resort.

After a couple hours of rest and showers, it was off to Isola for dinner. Wow, what great renovations. The building is now enclosed, with a much nicer decor than it had before. We split a Ceasar Salad and Pizza. The salad was amazing. I could have just eaten that. The pizza was good, but could have been a crispier crust. After eating we popped  in to Red Piano. No one we knew was there or working so we went on to our favorite spot, Snoopys for Rock and Roll night. Some more good live music and good times!!!



5/4 Friday
It was time for another resort day. I stayed at SBR in the am by the marina pool. Life is tough when you have to decide which pool or which beach to spend the day at! I had a Shrimp Ceviche poolside before heading out. It was huge! If there was 1 shrimp, there were 30. And it was only $15. Mama drove me  to Philipsburg  to meet with my friend JJ at his store.I bought a new ring, to support JJ. He has worked so hard helping the people of St. Maarten, it only seems right to support his business, too. The ring, is gorgeous! A lovely blue and white diamond ring. Another reminder, I am a diamond, and should be treated as such. When JJ finished work, we went to the hardware store to pick out the new toilet for ML. Then it was on to the grocery store to buy groceries for MW who is caring for 19 children and 5 adults. JJ said what we purchased would cover about a month of food for them. We then stop off and delivered the food to MW’s. She was not there, so I didn’t get to meet her.  But I did get to meet the children. They were so adorable, and helped us unload the car of all the items. Then we stopped by the house that had the fire in French Quarter. JJ instructed them to get a quote for the necessary materials to repair the burned out house.  If they follow through on getting the quotes, we will donate the remaining funds that I had to help them rebuild.  After that we stopped at ML’s to drop off the suitcase of construction materials that I had brought. She was very happy to receive the help, and the suitcase. I will say, it was not easy to just go back to a fancy resort after seeing how people are living. Sure, their circumstances may not have been great before Irma, but the storm sure didn’t help them. Many families that lived in separate houses are now packed in to one house, or one area of a house that has a roof. I will continue to do what I can to help the people of St. Maarten. We all have our passions. I have found mine. I was back to SBR around 6:30. We went to dinner at Sale & Pepe. It was amazing. I had the Snapper with veggies and rice. They had an Osco Boco that looked fabulous, but I opted for the fish. Trying to stay healthy. Hahahaha... It poured rain, I mean poured rain while we were at dinner.  But nothing like our island friends had endured. Once the rain subsided, we found our way to Red Piano for Caribbean Night. Soca and Reggae music. Yes, I like this very much. And so much fun.


5/5 The last full day on the island. Yes, I am starting to feel that I will be heading home soon. The suitcase is just about packed before we headed out for the day.  Breakfast today at Zee Best, Mmmm. I had a crepe omelet and an Almond Croissant that I made Mama take a piece of. I promise I didn’t have to twist her arm very much. Then it was off to  Mullet Bay. That is one of the most beautiful beaches on St. Maarten. The left side is usually pretty calm, but the right side, the surf was breaking and rough...yes I walked the entire beach just to get photos of the different aspects of the beach. Bought a magnet bracelet from a local. The colors were pretty, blue of course, and yes, just giving back in another way. I know, I’ve said it before, those funny gut feelings, well I had one that day.  He was here, I could feel it. The jerk...There were a lot of locals there, so it wouldn’t be surprising. I didn’t see him, but I felt it. Sure enough, when we got back to SBR I had a message from him. Yes,  ignored it. He didn’t deserve me when he had me, after the events of the last year and however any months, he surely didn’t deserve me now. This being my last night, I wanted to spend it at Snoopy’s and it was Reggae night there, so YEAH!!! We had dinner there and I had the Garlic Shrimp again, because it is just that good. What a fun night. I danced, I was on the bar’s facebook live, I had a ball.  I gotta learn more about Soca Music. I have a specific stool there now, the owner promised to take good care of it for me, until I return.


5/6 Sunday Ugh Departure day! I hate it. I am heading back to my cell. We had lunch at the new place to be, Emilio’s. It  was wonderful. Of course Mama knows the Chef and manager of the place, she knows everyone! I really looked around the place, and took some picture, my friends who are looking to get married in St. Maarten next year, really should do it there. I had the Blueberry Pancakes, Mama had the Emilio Wilson Plate and our other friend had Hourves Ranchero.  The food was incredible. The environment is beautiful. It is right near the new zip line on the dutch side, so during the day that is a little distracting, but at night, that is not an issue at all. Yes, I gave in and cried. Mama thought it was because of the jerk, no, no, I am good there. I just can’t seem to help it. I am happy in St. Maarten. An inner peace of some kind,not so much at home. I gotta figure that out!

Well my 10 days, that became 9, have come to an end. It was amazing, it was fabulous, I am already planning and plotting my return. Forever in my heart you are my sweet St. Maarten Land.


WEBSITES AND LINKS
Snoopy's Bar & Grill   https://snoopysbar.com/
Seagrape Tours     https://seagrapetours.com/
Simpson Bay Resort   http://simpsonbayresortmarina.com/
Billy Bones Boat Charters  http://boatchartersxm.com/
Sale & Pepe  https://www.facebook.com/SALE-PEPE-SXM-536833439816354/
Isola   http://isolasxm.com/
Avantika http://www.avantikasxm.com/
Friar's Bay Beach Club https://www.facebook.com/pages/Friars-Bay-Beach-Café-Ici-Tes-
Zee Best http://www.zeebestrestaurant.com/
Red Piano https://www.theredpianosxm.com/
Emilio's ​https://emilios-sxm.com/
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#SXMSTRONG

9/27/2017

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I had no idea as I wrote my last post just what horrors were about to happen in the Caribbean. I am mindful as I type this that the hurricane season is not over, not even close. Irma and then Marie spinning and swirling, Irma so strong that it drained the ocean of it's waters two different times.  Irma was a direct hit on the Island of St. Maarten. Many lost everything, many lost a lot, and most sorrowful of all some lost their lives. I am deeply saddened by it all. 
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​ The waters are not as blue...yet...they will be
​ The beaches are not as clean...yet...they will be
​ The buildings are not there...yet...they will be
 The tourists are not welcome...yet...they will be
 The water is not back on everywhere...yet...it will be
 The roads are not all cleared...yet...they will be
​ The electric is not back on everywhere...yet...it will be
 The airport isn't open...yet...it will be
​The Palm fronds are not on the trees...yet...they will be
The cruise ships have not returned...yet...they will be
The restaurants are not up and running...yet...they will be
The curfew is not lifted...yet...but it will be

​The people of St. Maarten are strong and resilient.  Already, just 21 days later they have begun rebuilding and getting life back to "normal".  Restaurants  have opened with limited menus. If nothing else but to be there to have fresh food for people. Prices are discounted. People have places to gather, to share, to support one another.  It will be a very long time before things get back to normal. With their economy being 100% dependent on tourism, it is imperative that they get back on their feet as quickly as possible. The Dutch motherland has come to their aid at a rapid pace.  My heart is a bit heavy knowing how much they are struggling.  I was relieved to hear from all of my friends that live on the island. They were born there, they will die there. They are native St. Maarteners.  I respect them so much. They band together and take care of those who need help. That's not always the same as those who want help. I understand that statement very well, I'm sure you do too! As soon as the time is right, as soon as it is deemed appropriate...I will be back my dear Sint Maarten. #SXMSTRONG
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Natural phenomenons

9/4/2017

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The recent eclipse reminded me of the wonders of nature. I was like everyone else standing out side in mid-afternoon amazed at how dark it was. One of my co-workers had the cool NASA approved glasses so we actually got to look at the event happening, truly amazing! 

But even if you could not see it, you could feel it, you could hear it. Something unusual was about to happen in nature and the balance of the world was different. It is almost an eerie stillness. The animals were quiet, the atmosphere felt different you just knew, this isn't a regular afternoon.

The same holds true for tornadoes. Having been raised in southwestern Ohio, it was normal to have the little "watch" symbol in the bottom corner of the TV every afternoon. It was so expected, you really didn't see it anymore. But if you went outside, you could feel that eerie stillness in the air, the quiet of the living creatures and you knew...get to the basement. 

And now, as Hurricanes are roaring about in the Caribbean and Gulf, I am told the same stillness is in the air. I'm sure some one with knowledge of these things could explain why.  In my mind, I'm thinking all the motion is being pulled in to the monster storms before they release their wrath on the landmasses, big and small, in there path. Harvey has already done it's deed to Texas, and now Irma has My Island in it's sights looking to be close or a direct hit. My hope is it will move quickly and cause the least devastation possible. Be safe to all in the paths of these natural phenomenons.  May your lives be spared, and your homes be safe. 

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Well that was a crazy month

7/9/2017

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I had every intention of posting photos and dialog about my Memorial Day weekend trip to Chicago and then...real life just didn't give me time. I will get to the Chicago weekend, what a GREAT city. But first, a brief catch up on life.  My Mom has been really got sick again.  I am glad to say, she is doing much better now, but about 30 days ago, well...I wasn't so sure she was going to be around much longer. The truth of the matter, she's getting up there and her heart is struggling to keep up. She has Afib and Kidney disease. Treatment of both of these issues is a very delicate balancing act. When she gets run down, she just can't get her strength back, and gets exhausted.  And well, she's about as stubborn as they come!  I think this last time scared her.  I also think she will continue to do what ever she wants to do, against the advice of her children.  We have made some life adjustments, to decrease her required things to do. Hopefully she will be able to do the things she wants to do.  As of now, she is still in a nursing home for rehab. That time is coming to an end soon. I am hoping we don't end up in this same situation again. 
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Medical Malpractice

5/30/2017

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I don't think this post will be what you might expect. You may not recall, but when I flew the beginning of February there was a couple with 3 large "service dogs" on my flight. The dogs were very well behaved, the humans, not so much. Well, I'm beginning to think there is a pattern here.  On my flight home yesterday a gate agent boarded the plane and asked the women next to me about the dog she was traveling with. In my opinion he was not rude at all. She was very defensive and called  the airlines customer service immediately. She didn't even hand the man her documents. Just called and started complaining about how he was treating her. Honestly, the dog was a bulldog and should probably not have been on the plane as that breed is indeed on the list of banned breeds. The dog had no service vest, or obvious tags. It bit at it's owner twice when she shoved it down off her lap while she slept and the dog was discontent. Even climbing on the center arm rest. I emailed the airline because she told whomever she reached on the phone that the gate agent was rude. He was not. People always take time to complain, never to compliment. I am all about people who truly need service dogs, but the Doctors who are committing Medical Malpractice so spoiled self centered people can take pets along for free are getting out of control. I actually know people who have done this! 100% do not need the dog, but hey now it flies for free and they don't have to pay for a kennel. I for one would like to go back to the days of pets being cargo. I love my dog, but he does not need to be on a plane, at the grocery store or on vacation with me.  I am sorry for the gentleman that this women was so rude to. He was doing his job. I actually did give the woman the same lecture. I told her to put herself in his place, the paperwork did not appear to be in order. It was his job to ask, and he did. Just because she called earlier, doesn't mean it will be okay. Have your documents ready and be prepared to show them as a traveler in society today that is how it is.  Don't think because you got your dog on the plane you are above being asked for proof. Airline staff actually have our lives in their hands with MUCH bigger issues. Leave the pets at home folks. Learn to handle life on it's own, unless you truly need a service dog. Then I  am 100% in your corner.  Service dogs are a right, not a privilege get it straight. Service dogs behave in a very specific manner. They don't bite, climb and walk around discontent. They stay with their owner and care for them.  They are highly trained aides for many people with a wide variety of real needs. Fake news, Fake ailments, Fake people...sad, sad, sad.

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It's time for a break!

5/25/2017

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I love when spring finally arrives. Life gets full and busy again. I like it that way. Keeps me from being bored and focusing on the what ifs and maybe's of life.  Last weekend I went on a 4 mile hike with a new group of people. I think I've discovered one of the things I need is new friends.  My best friend lives hundreds of miles away, my next closet friend an hour away. So I need to find folks, even if they are more like acquaintances, to hang out with.  I'm not looking to give up on the people I know that are near by, I just need to find people who fit my life better. And so that quest has begun.  Slow and steady evolution of me! 

​This year has been such a major improvement at work. It's been a pleasure instead of constant stress. Today was a bit of a side step.  I guess I should state that on the 25th I send out a plethora of reports for all of the companies I am responsible for.  One of the companies is having a rough month. I have been discussing it with the Manager there for over a week. Sent him preliminary reports to review a week ago. Today, after I prepped the VP that there would be issues with the reports,  he called the manager. Suddenly he decides to review the prelim...he now thinks there is an issue with a particular line item. So you had 7 days to look at this? And you wait until 2 hours before I have to have it out? This same manager sent me an email at 4:50pm last Friday and said hey I need these three contracts tomorrow can you get them typed up? He has been fairly warned, be proactive.  Only a few rough hours, not day after day...keep it in perspective.  
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​​It's time to travel the world again, headed some place new this weekend. Camera in hand! As we all enjoy the benefits that so many have fought and died for this weekend let's keep that in mind. Our privileges have come from a lot of dedication and sacrifice for many years, by many people, those enlisted and the families that support them.  Thank you!

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Gardening

5/7/2017

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It was  a pretty damp, dreary weekend here in the Northeast but I was able to find a few good hours to dig a new garden. A month ago I had purchased 30 Lily bulbs knowing they needed a place to be planted. I delayed the project waiting for the Aprils showers to warm up to May Sunshine.  I dug out a 10 foot by 2 foot patch, peeled up the grass and planted the lily bulbs then enclosed it in a gardening fence, hoping to keep the wild animals out or at least deterred. I threw on some top soil, too.  Here's hoping I have a lovely flower garden to share photos of sometime in the near future.

​Today my thigh muscles and glutes are telling me a did some real work! Not a bad thing at all, I still did my 2 mile walk as well. I have been trying to get that in 5 days a week. Started out a mile, now I've expanded it but kept the time the same, going a little farther and a bit faster when I get comfortable.  

​Spring is so much about clean slates, starting fresh and new beginnings to me. I'm ready to embrace the future and see where it takes me.  
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Care for others

5/4/2017

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Life it happens to us all. It's easy to forget that. It's not easy today.  I have a friend, she actually graduated high school with my daughter. But we are connected in many ways. We actually met through a work affiliation. We were sitting there and connected the dots...we lived in the same town, she graduated in my daughter's class, and oh...she and I share the same birth date. We aren't best friends, but in that work environment she is my friend. The end of last year she was diagnosed with leukemia. Ugh!!! How is that possible.  She's strong, she's young...she's in for the fight of her life. She was doing well...today I hear...not so good...it's back to the hospital for a much more aggressive treatment, like the first one wasn't tough enough?  My heart aches for her, and her parents. I can't even begin to think what it would be like.

​Later today I'm scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I see multiple posts to another friend, "heard you and the family were in an accident"? Ugh? No response, looked on his wife's page...no posts hmm? Okay, text the same mutual friend that told me earlier today about my young friend going back to the hospital...Yes, it's true. My friends wife and children were indeed in a car accident. There are some broken bones. A lot of bumps and bruises...but they will all be okay.  I am some what relieved. Auto accidents have indeed touched my life very closely, having lost 3 close relatives to the hands of others poor driving.  I've reached out...hoping to prepare a meal and drop it off when they are ready for it.  I got an update from my friend late tonight, a bit more serious than originally thought. There is indeed some permanent damage to his wife's leg.  The simple moral of this story DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE!!  The person who hit his family, wasn't even looking when they crossed the middle line and smashed in to them. 

​Just one of those days that make my heart sad.  I wish everyday could be full of sunshine and rainbows, but sometimes...they just aren't.
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Happy Anniversary to me...

4/25/2017

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Well, not your typical anniversary...like years married or in a job...no this week bears the anniversary of my near death experience. No, I don't have stories of the afterlife or bright lights,  I guess I wasn't that near death. But if you were me...it was. It came down to a simply decision really, one that even now, 4 years later I give 100% of the credit to my sweet departed dog, he's been gone now 2 years, the anniversary of his passing is also coming up soon. Anyway, I was sick, having recently flown, not hard to believe. An adult with 102 fever even on medication...yeah that's sick. I had been to my primary doctor twice in 24 hours. They assured me, I would feel better soon and to just take the antibiotics they had given me. (There's a lot more story to this but I'm trying to not focus on how inept they were.) So that night I was laying on my bed, my throat feeling worse, with hardly any voice and barely able to swallow water, and I came to a cross roads: either take the medication and go to sleep or go to the hospital. It wasn't an easy thing to decide. Having grown up with a nurse as a mom, well you just didn't over-react to medical things.  But my dog, he made me aware this was no joke. He didn't leave my side that day or evening. He followed me every time I left a room. When I was laying on my bed trying to make that decision he was right there next to me. He wouldn't eat, or go out side. He was worried about me.  I decided to go to the hospital. And probably not a moment to soon. Within an hour of walking in to the ER I was intubated and put into a medically induced coma. I woke up 3.5 days later.  Epiglottitis: an infection of the epiglottis.  1 in 100,000 Adults are stricken with this a year.  They never could tell me why it happened, but they did assure me it is highly unlikely it would ever happen again. My take away from this, 4 years later, it did take awhile to get to this point...live every day to the fullest, as much as you can. you never know what day will be your last. Live, Love, Laugh and Enjoy every day!
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    I am me, because that's all I can be. My hope is that I am someday the best me I can be. Every day is a work in progress.

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